Sometimes people believe they don’t have what it takes on their own to be happy. The emergence of coaching and the extensive and growing self-help industry supports this belief. Look at social media and explore self-help guru websites and you will find messages like:
“Buy my book! Take my program! Work with me, and your life will magically get better! Do this and you will be happy!”
The implication is that without external forces, it’s impossible to be happy.
This idea has become embedded in our culture.
What’s truer is that we always have everything we need inside us to create our happiest life. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to guide you to that knowledge — alongside the desire to access your joy in the first place.
Because we so love to be instantly gratified and almost always seek the easiest path, the promise of the cure being outside of ourselves seems somehow easier. We think that book or that program or that person will most certainly give us the answers.
It’s a big fat lie. Nobody is a better authority on what’s best for you better than YOU.
You might be thinking this is a crazy idea for me to share since I work as a coach in the personal development industry.
Let me clarify. Having someone who loves you and has a strong desire to guide you toward living your best life is a game-changer in the world of happiness-seeking. It’s super-smart to hire someone to support you along your path.
But that person will not know what’s best for you — they will only see your situation through their biased perspective. If she’s worthy of being your coach, she will not directly give you the answers you seek — she will ask intentionally designed questions to assist you on your path toward creating your best life.
(Almost every client I’ve ever worked with has expressed frustration when I wouldn’t give them the answer!)
You have the resilience of a Palm tree in the wildest storm, and yet it’s so much better to have someone next to you — rooting for you and loving you in the midst of the storm.
I’ve shortened my learning curve by surrounding myself with guides, teachers, books, and programs — and it’s all helpful. I wouldn’t be courageous enough to write this blogpost without all the internal work I’ve done.
But I’ve learned not to believe the hype that I need someone else’s answers because real and lasting progress only happens when I begin to hear the voice of my inner wisdom.
Where do you find your answers?