This April, after more than ten years in business, I hit the proverbial wall. I was weary of the tasks that needed doing to maintain the level of success I’d enjoyed in the past. When I realized I wasn’t excited about continuing my practice as a coach, I knew it was time for slowing down.
If I’m not having fun in my business, something is seriously wrong.
This realization was not exactly new. I can pinpoint the beginning of the shift happening with me back to the day I began creating my studio space in Goshen in the Spring of 2013. Putting that space together showed me how much I had allowed my creativity to be in the background — paralyzed by my “business” to-do lists. I saw for the first time how vital it was for me to be engaged in creative activities.
I knew something was missing, so I began a genuine commitment to developing a creative practice. I started eliminating some work I was doing, aware that slowing down was vital.
My ideas about creativity have evolved; everything I do has an element of creativity. A treasure trove of insights have emerged through my willingness to put in the time and energy toward a creative focus! In the process, I have gained access to a deeper knowing.
As always the answers have been there for me, waiting.
April of this year was the beginning of my willingness to stop everything — to look with fresh eyes at the way I spend my precious time. Who am I, really?
I’ve been listening more deeply to the life that beckons. I will admit to it being a little scary to stop spinning all the plates, and yet it feels like I have no choice. Slowing down, even more than before, has become my new normal.
I Fired My Personality
One thing I’ve become aware of is that my ‘personality’ has served the role of Chief Executive Officer of my life, and she has served me well up until now. The frantic striving is simply what my ego wanted me to do to ‘succeed’ and look good to others.
My soul is inviting me to go deeper. It’s time for the 55-year chapter to close and another to begin. It’s time to give my inner knowing the reins.
If not for the open space I’ve given myself, I would not be aware of this soul-calling.
So, I’m listening. I am following the inner voice that says “Write. Make Art. Sing. Be satisfied that life is good without constant striving to make it better.”
This wise voice is also encouraging me to share my soul journey with you — in spite of the vulnerable and soft place from which it comes.
I’m taking a deep breath — or twenty — and easing into new waters. I’ll let you know what I see.